Therapy is an investment in your well-being, and a strong, collaborative relationship with your therapist is key to making meaningful progress. But sometimes, despite your best efforts, the therapeutic fit isn’t right. Here are three signs it may be time to consider finding a new therapist—and guidance on what to do next.

1) You Know as Much About Your Therapist as They Know About You

It’s normal for therapists to share some personal experiences as a therapeutic tool—but this should be purposeful and limited. When you leave your session knowing more about your therapist’s life than they know about yours, it may indicate a misalignment in the therapeutic relationship.

At Roseland Psychotherapy Associates, our therapists use self-disclosure carefully to:

  • Build rapport

  • Normalize experiences

  • Instill hope

If a therapist spends most of the session talking about themselves rather than focusing on your needs, it can prevent the self-reflection, insight, and guidance that are central to therapy.

2) They Don’t Remember Important Details of Your Life

Therapists rely on understanding your history, relationships, and recurring patterns to help you make meaningful progress. At Roseland Psychotherapy Associates, we document sessions and review notes to ensure continuity and context.

Red flags include:

  • Frequently re-explaining your history or significant life events

  • Feeling like your therapist isn’t actively listening or attentive

  • Having to remind them of key details from past sessions

When vital information is overlooked, it can hinder the therapist’s ability to help you identify patterns, understand triggers, or develop effective strategies.

3) They Don’t Explain What They’re Doing or Why

A skilled therapist will guide you through the process and explain how specific approaches can help you achieve your goals.

Signs your therapist isn’t doing this include:

  • Confusing or vague explanations of their methods

  • Unclear reasoning behind questions or interventions

  • Feeling lost about why specific techniques are being used

Whether your therapist practices psychodynamic therapy, EMDR, CBT, or another modality, they should provide explanations in language that you can understand. Therapy should feel transparent and collaborative, with your understanding and comfort at the forefront.

What to Do If You Think It’s Time to Move On

Before ending therapy, it’s often helpful to communicate openly with your therapist. A simple conversation can clarify misunderstandings or improve the therapeutic process.

If, after discussion, you still feel the fit isn’t right, it’s okay to end the relationship. Professional steps include:

  1. Notify your therapist by phone or email, ideally before your next scheduled session, to avoid cancellation fees.

  2. Decide whether to provide feedback—many therapists appreciate constructive feedback, but it’s not required.

  3. Seek a new therapist who aligns with your needs, goals, and preferred therapeutic approach.

Therapists want clients to succeed, and finding the right fit is a regular part of the process. You are not being difficult or disloyal by choosing a therapist who better meets your needs. In fact, this decision often accelerates personal growth and ensures therapy is truly effective.